Our college was selling cheap tickets for an outdoor ice skating event. Sometimes its totally innocuous, as LW said. I felt really connected to LW upon reading the letter! Man, that sounds great, but I know Im forgetting something on my calendar. We went swimming in the lake and had a little bonfire." This is a good response to use when your weekend with family was more on the slow-paced side but was nonetheless enjoyable. Like now? If the other person isnt in a chatty mood, we go comfortably silent after a few pleasantries because the Small Talk Gods have been appeased. Justit can be a lot sometimes. , Related the person who just assumes youre doing whatever theyve planned for you because its a family thing and youre family or I asked Z and they said you were free* or What else would you be doing? This way, you are always busy when those people ask. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" that will make people laugh Of course, he keeps doing it his way, so I just ask dunno, why? My DH reminds me when predictable events are coming up and advises me to fill up my calendar! The second interpretation of this question is, what are you doing in life? Answer vaguely. I get tempted to make stuff up like join the circus or sky diving or whatnot. You'll Get Eaten Last. "Hi" or "Hello". People use it for all sorts of reasons. Covid-19 lockdown: what to say when asked what you did last night My vote is toss her out and let her adult. With friends and family you can be more honest if you like, but you dont have to. Like I also find whatre you doing this weekend to be pretty normal but also can feel very intrusive, but if I had people in my life like the LWs who were using it to try to make me do things I didnt want to do while making it seem like they were not making me do things itd get to be a really irritating and hair-trigger question pretty fast. That question from certain people stresses me too! Also, I dont expect that the LW is bothered by every person who casually asks this question; Im sure they can tell when someone is just making chit chat vs someone who is interested in spending time together. Boy, do I need it. ! OH ME TOO. Hah. Thankfully, the discomfort is mostly on my end at this point. Not every parent who expects stuff from their kid is unreasonable. If you want to push them to just say why they want to know, ask. Now when he asks I say party like a rock star. friend: yep cool I think it would be odd to preemptively take that away. I like babies and pets just fine, but unless the baby is under a year old and sleeps a lot, and you have a super chill pet, Im not up to the task. 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments - Self Development Journey Go For a Run: Once again, running will not require spending any money, only your energies. 1. Sorry friends, but bears, Zombies, whateverwe're gonna have to leave you behind. It is really really worth it for people in all possible situations to understand being ethical as something you need to work on and not as something you already are by default and need no guidance and no dialogue for. Im a hardcore introvert, most of my plans are sitting at home, not doing anything in particular and if I answer the question truthfully, and then there comes the invitation, Im in a very tight spot because I already admitted that I dont have anything serious enough to warrant me declining the offer. that kind of thing), whereas work is seen as almost virtuous, as my family holds work/money in high regard, and my hours are unusual enough that no one can remember what they are. (Rememberif she had specific other plans, thats a reasonable excuse. The joke about (insert joke) cracked me up on your profile. Even if its only logistically. Ive heard its a very Southern California thing and that people from other places are annoyed by it. (beaming smile) (speaking a bit slowly) So you go on (big cheery gesture) on your own because youre interrupting our discussion time.. Oh, such discerning eyes. Best of luck to you, dear LW! Im pretty thoughtful about when I feel Im entitled to expect her participation, and when Im not. I think my aunt asks this question for the same reason you do. I think part of it, too, is that I have mental health issues and physical issues so sometimes the questions make me feel pressured to have a good weekend. If an acquaintance asks How are you? and I answer and ask back like I do at home, am I way off? If those people have sufficient ability to cause difficulty or danger if they are displeased, it may not be advisable to say to them but not because it it rude; because those people cause problems when things dont go their way. Opposite of what I want . You dont need to read their minds as to what they mean, suss out what they mean next, or throw up defenses against prying nosiness; most of the time, it will not be necessary. My mom recently moved from but why? to Ok, I guess you dont love me which is actually a sign things are going my way because its not a direct question. My husbands family is large and I generally love them, but sometimes I just do not want to eat little smokies and chips with 40 other people in a loud house with tons of screaming children. Good, the colors on the leaves are amazing (in Fall) Feeding a giraffe. "Better days are coming. In every group Ive been in it is socially acceptable and expected that you can say youre busy for whatever reason you want. This auto-reply is just to let you know. W- Work free. Theres also nothing wrong with the sitting alone in the dark rocking back and forth, it just seemed a good description of the void my mother thinks no plans equals. I wonder if some variety of Im really flattered that you asked and I want to hang bout, but I REALLY need to recharge this weekend, maybe we can set a time that works for both of us? might be a good script? 3. This is my reaction. You are hearing pressure where there is none; and even if there were a little pressure, the grownup way to deal with it is to push back firmly but politelyno whining, no yelling, no accusing, no lecturing. Im glad youre no longer friends with that jerk. And partly because, depending on exactly what one wants and what cost one is willing to pay, challenging the culture is how it gets changed. But for the LW when its potential datepeople, I do find that, Not sure yet why, do you have something fun in mind? has a pretty decent response rate. You're not obligated to tell others your plans for the future, if you even have them. What are you doing this weekend? Setting a timer or alarms. I think people use that particular question instead of asking outright so they can feel out whether the person has any plans or our open to hanging out before they ask them to commit to a specific thing. ? comments. How should I respond? To them I am this exotic other they feel entitled to treat in a certain way because their goodness and its expression is more important than my real and complex experience as a human being. Are you willing? or, if Im feeling that Im entitled to demand it, Ill say, are you available? (example: Im not going to react well if you want to play Minecraft instead of helping me wrap the favors for grandpas birthday dinner; if youre getting together with friends, online or IRL, or doing homework, OK). Theyre private and you dont need to know them. It's healthy and doesn't cost a penny. Grocery store cashiers, random people in the elevator, and taxi drivers dont want or need more of a response. It can mean I want to make plans if youre freewhich, for me at least, isnt so much plan it for me as planning is hard, lets establish if theres even an open time slot before we nail down the details. Instead, choose from these five replies. Thank you. BLah, I realized I didnt finish the thought, I suppose that before I started responding that way they thought I was sitting alone rocking back and forth in the dark.. Instead of making it easier for people to say no, people find it makes it harder. If a stranger or acquaintance says, How are you? its mostly just meant as a greeting, and you greet them back by saying, Im good, thanks or Doing alright or Oh fine, and you? Just some standard vague but positive-sounding reply. Why is receiving an invite considered such a stressor and its ok not to get back to the person. It avoids (in their mind) making the person feel pressured to commit if they dont actually want to. Maybe we could get together. This sentence should never be solo. Funny Answers To What Are You Doing (WYD) - MomInformed You'll hear it regularly in speech, and people actually might think it sounds funny/wrong to say "Well.". And I try to be easier on myself for not having more exciting weekend plans. Call me. Does *your* phone not work? I get lunch with my coworkers on Friday and there is a lot of so is anyone doing anything interesting this weekend? in our conversation. Im one of those foreigners who are mystified with the use of How are you? in the US. Figuring out how my plans fit together is my problem, not anyone elses. The person is clearly saying something bigoted or 2. Theres an important underlying truth here that I think we all have trouble with: We are not required to answer every question put to us. I went to a lot of meetings I did not want to go because of this, cause I pretty much was cornered into it after admitting I have not set plans.. But I like to think that Im better at saying no now, even though people do sometimes react badly. Funny Response to How Are You There are many fun things we could say and people will think that you're smart and interesting! Because everybodys got something. But *I* am entitled to enact some of that fallout myselfits not all about her, shes not the only one who gets to be offended and feel pushed around, etc. The mental stress is the same whether you interrupt a current rest period or interrupt the chance to get there before it before it starts. 1. Yes, people use this question for all kinds of reasons, as LW said. I agree with the Captain that its all about boundaries. Reluctant runners just need a nudge. I dont think my friends are trying to put me on the spot at all. Anything fun planned? Once in a college class, we had a group of students who had American parents but had grown up in other countries come and talk to us about the experience of having a foot in two cultures. I hear you. - Casey Stengel "Thanks, it was a chance to relax and I am grateful for that.". What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". Sometimes, it's good to be a little silly and fun! I have never had it used against me as an ableist term, but I will use a different word in the future. She's asking because she's interested in your plans specifically. When someone is fishing for a date or a maybe-babysitter, though, I turn it right back around on them. (via Shutterstock) 7. 2. Thanks, I woke up like this. They may be angling to invite you somewhere. You're confident and independent, but you still overthink this kind of stuff. How odd to be on both sides of this! (Whether there will be some negative family fallback I dont know). If I had a tail, I would wag it! My parents and my in-laws have requests that my husband and I dont feel we can refuse. ? I had a boss once who sometimes wanted to know if I could work overtime on the weekend, but sometimes wanted to know if there was quirky events on that her daughter might be interested in. 200 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Mittens and I can primal scream together. My Kid: No (shuts door) Like, if you say you have nothing really planned, and you get asked to babysit or on a date, are you actually okay saying Sorry, cant this time? So the onus is on you, when talking to a new person, to communicate that youre just interested in exchanging chitchat about what everybody did/will do over the weekend. Which is why weve all learned to use our words, though it takes some learning and there are still occasional misunderstandings. But Im willing to bet that LW knows that, and the reason he/she feels annoyed with the people asking it in his/her life are because theres a pattern and something bigger at work like maybe people trying to get him/her to do stuff, or, as he/she noted, people who want to hang out, but with him/her doing all the planning work. Giving my turtle a haircut. [Note to my friend who also reads CA, this is not you ], I tend to do direct invites, sometimes with a range of possible dates, but I have occasionally done the We should do [X] sometime! and had months go by without getting around to organizing [X], even if Ive extended other invitations to the person also interested in [X]. Sometimes people respond in a very vague way (oh just some family stuff), which will tell me that its private or they just dont want to discuss it with me and Ill drop it and switch topics. Numbered point 4 specifically says LW doesnt understand why people are asking this, hence the many explanations of different reasons people ask, and while the possible manipulation is noted in numbered points 2 and 3, its not the only thing LW is asking about, while point 3 suggests to me that LW may well be reading manipulation into cases where people are just curious or are actually trying to do the planning themselves (by finding out if LW is even available for a possible activity), not trying to make zir do the planning, as ze suspects. Threading has run out, so replying to your top comment, spd please try to avoid using the word spazzy. For that matter, even confident people can fall into the What are you doing Thursday? trap when theyre trying to sound unassertive. Ugh. But thats always what those on the winning side of dominance relationships say. person: cool yep You have to answer the . If theyre someone who usually only asks me to do fun stuff, I may say Free as a bird, as long as I dont have to plan on getting up too early. You might not know exactly what you want to do in life, but you certainly know what you don't want to do. I really like this point! I hate ditherers with the passion of a thousand suns. When I was a teen or an adult who looked like a teen, I was very fond of, Ill have to ask my mother. I had as little to do with my mother as possible at the time, but I noticed this response was great at making creepy guys shrivel up and slink off. Thaaats what Im telling myself about my children anyway. If you use the same phrasing with suddenly a dramatically different meaning, its not other peoples fault if they dont know youve changed the meaning on them. Thats the way to go. I know it is super common usage as a general term for silly / disorganised but its actually an ablist term which a lot of people with disabilities have had thrown at them as a slur. Not making it a big moan-y you alwaaays ask that! just an in the moment, you know were close enough that we dont have to do this dance sort of thing. It generally meant that they had read somewhere on some really stupid website that you should try to get the girl you want to talk about herself, because girls like to talk about themselves. Im much better at saying no now, and I realize that in most situations saying no is a perfectly socially acceptable answer. She does recognize that its a way people make small talk and that its not likely to go away any time soon. I know that doesnt solve your overall problem, and I dont know what a reasonable solution is Im Sorry youre struggling right now. How are you? We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. That would feel like a very odd response if I were making small-talk with the question. Its an opener, like Hot enough for you? Or How about that sportsquad at the sportsmatch? The content of your answer is secondary to the dynamic of conversation. *drops a house on MLM guy*, Heh. You could just ask. Thank you! hours of 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday because it will make you seem like you don't have anything better to do on the weekend. I love days where I have no obligations and I can go where the wind takes me. So far, everyone Ive said this to has gotten the message that I want an obligation free day. I was never taught that was the correct answer. Also it varies on friend one friend, if I ask him if hes free Friday, we both understand that means beer and movies until the early hours, by default. LW here. I think its more like, LW has a bunch of overbearing, annoying relatives who use this as a manipulation tactic, so she now sees it as one. In the UK, most encounters respond with fine/good/grand, how are you?, In formal encounters, respond with how are you?. Question bugs me too, so I figured out some noncommittal answers that hit the tennis ball back into the askers court where it belongs. not? For a close friend, you could answer more literally. How are you? as much as it is practicing not giving into pressure to give an explanation of your schedule OR an immediate answer. I feel like something mundane like chores will get some pushback, or wont be seen as a task that takes up the whole day(s) off (if I do laundry Saturday, I can still go out Sunday! I know its a common question and Im sure most people dont mean anything bad by it. I dont think she feels disliked; theres really not a lot of conflict for us. My father nearly died in my arms, and you cant meet me at the airport to show me you love me, because you dont like being told what to do? They help us tons, just because they love us and were family. Trust issues and controlling family? It seems to me to have grown somehow out of how do you do, to which the appropriate response was, of course, how do you do. Crossword puzzles, chess, sudoku, or other puzzle games Cooking Travel Gardening Art, music, crafts, writing, podcasting I had a two-day conversation with my cat about vacuums versus lint rollers. 1. I would say something like:"what have you done with yours so that i can learn what to do or avoid.". I know its a big favor, but obviously I would pay you, and I have cable, high-speed internet, and a chocolate fountain with dark, milk, and bittersweet streams. So threatening to make her move out is just not wise. They need to stop it. So setting a rent that I would for any other adult is simply not applicable. Shell show up at your house again, or track you down partway to school. I am on the spectrum, so I would anxiety-spiral about whether, once again, I missed a basic social skill everyone else learned in kindergarten. why do you ask? when Im texting or emailing. Dont for a second feel guilty about judging a nosy male as no good if they ask nosy questions and show any sign of caring if you dont answer. OK, you want to ASK if hell help you w/ your home maintenance, fine, but these are not HIS chores anymore. How it came to need an actual (although formulaic) response, Im not sure. Im surprised to find out this is annoying, I guess, because I am such a What are you up to this weekend? asker when I want to hang out. Riding an elephant. I think you nailed it with that last bit, to an epic degree. Funny Bumble Answers #3: Rebel Without A Cause This answer is funny because it paints a picture in the woman's mind of a rebel, even in his youth. I dont have strong preferences but I do get hangry, so Ive learned to step up and be the Designated Control Freak. And found myself saying yes more often than I wanted to. While we're sure there are plenty more things people do for fun, these are some good hobbies to mention: Outdoors activities like rock climbing, hiking, cycling, etc. ME: Hi [Friend], Id like to plan a karaoke night with you, are you free [date] or [date]? A: Thanks, you too. They have the right to call on us and expect us to come through. Them (if it was an invitation prequel) would Thursday at noon work for you?, Them We need to have lunch soon I usually just respond with I have tentative plans with a friend why do you ask? Lots of wiggle room there. The first time I posted a little comment showed up saying that my comment was pending mod review since it was my first comment but I dont see one of those now. As a little anecdote my ex-husband and I had just started attending a new ward in his church when a guy our age wed chatted with a few times asked us what we were doing on Halloween. 1. ' If you ' re studying, doing homework or anything else you deem daunting, this is a great text to send your crush. And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. Yup. He would intentionally just hint around until they offered. You may feel uncomfortable doing this (which is their goal) but you always have the right to decline a request. And sometimes its due to the other person not grasping the soft no/non-answer to drop the conversation (generally people I am not already friends with, like the one bank teller who keeps on asking* and that I do find nosy/irritating). You may also eagerly seize on these options and/or provide some of your own., (2) Hey, Im looking for someone to cat-sit while Im out of town for the next three months. When its done as the pre-request, I get really annoyed that the person wont just ask me directly. LW is pretty clearly not talking so much about people making casual small talk as people being roundabout manipulative. Making conversions . a coworker you dont hang out with outside of work asking this question on a Friday) and as a pre-request/invitation. Sometimes I might even say, its okay if you dont want to, its not urgent, but I was wondering if you could possibly help babysit Saturday? This breaks the meaningless exchange of localized variations in air pressure aspect of the typical greeting, and most people seem to respond favorably to having good things introduced into a conversation. Speaking about sudden change of moods and plans, and friends getting you: Several years ago, at the phone, ten minutes before a scheduled meeting with my friends in a pub to watch the incoming results of the Brexit referendum. I dislike being asked this question too, except in my case its more that I dont want to be asked this question by coworkers, ever. Him: Nothing fun? Youre right, adult people who feel safe and are treated well like adult people probably dont react like that. Kind of a random revelation after reading everyones advice and responses: I think this is up for me right now because Im new to the online dating world and, because of my past experience with my family, I am having a hard time telling if the question is of the innocuous kind (like when co-workers ask my plans for the weekend), a soft opening to trying to ask me out, or the kind of manipulation that Ive, for better or for worse, learned to be on alert for. Youll all be healthier and live longer if they learn some manners in how they treat you. I love organizing events and I confess to having asked that annoying question several times, mostly in order to know if a particular friend I would love to invite is available on that date. Find an answer. If they want to tell you about their job, they can. And then when you part somebody accidentally says love you, too. Thats how it always happens for me, anyway. But different cultural norms! Like Sounds great but tonight wouldnt work for me or Yknow what, Im pretty tired, I could have made something shorter work but that play will just be too much or just Hm, nah. Makes sense. (If they didnt mean an invitation) In this case it has the added benefit of short-circuiting the waiting for you to say nothing so I can guilt you into babysitting gambit. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? friend/person/both: Im in the worst fucking mood and heres why. Thanks for the invite though!. May suggest reversing the order of operations? That said, you do have to be ok with saying no. Basically, I dont think people are trying to be manipulative and I do think youre overthinking this, OP. Funny How To Respond To WYD (What Are You Doing) Texts And Im totally ok with that. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THIS VIDEO. It gives the impression that Id rather do nothing than spend time with you or help you with something (which may very well be true, but is often not a conversation worth having). Alternatively were just going to have to start getting out of bed earlier so we dont run into them, but I suspect that if she realised we were doing that she might actually change her own schedule. Life is filled with lots of required thing that some folks loathe and others either like or dont care either way. Its real. its BANK HOLIDAY?. Yep yep yep. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we've gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder. I"m not done loving you!" 7) "It's Friday bitches!! What you are currently doing. I think LW is unable to separate people doing something that they personally find annoying, and people intentionally trying to annoy them. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. An Australian tech and business journalist echoed this: "Great the new unsolicited email intro seems to be . And for that age range of teens into mid-twenties, its developmentally normal to not adult well in spaces/tasks/areas of endeavor where they cannot do so unsurveilled by childhood parental authority figures, but to abruptly adult extremely well and competently when freed from that surveillance. Also, that is very common; very few people I know can really remember everything they are doing for months ahead. Were having a party. That way, he proudly announced, he never owed them a favor in return. I dont feeling hes hitting on me exactly, though I am not answering in a way he likes/expects (am I supposed to be chatty bc Im young-ish and female? I dont know? Nothing special. Also works for the similar How ARE you? @Grant Us Eyes mentioned. Im not talking about not dealing with this. But it can still be frustrating to deal with. LW gets that this is all tied up with threats of violence. Instead we got stuck attending an MLM pitch. 4. Its hard to navigate things as just small talk when follow-up questions and comments quickly lead to territory I dont want to discuss. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. I make a special point to not do that, not even if the thing Im asking for help with is sort of non-negotiable. For a cashier: Great, how are you? just because they are probably required to ask as part of their job. Doesnt work with friends / family obviously, but I have to consult my husband every single time when it comes to sales pitches / offers in retail / invitations from strangers etc. because sometimes we have plans that cant change. I kind of like your signature line as a response! Because people look forward to the weekend, they often start talking about it as early as Wednesday. I have trouble entertaining myself sometimes, I definitely dont want to try to entertain babies and pets. Rather than rushing to respond, taking the time to understand what they mean can improve the quality of your response. If the idea is to make refusal easier, I think scripts like Im going to this show tomorrow, if youd like to join me and Do you know of anyone who might be able to babysit on Saturday? would be more effective. (My brother and sister in particular also had to learn from both their friends and myself that, just because they love me and love them doesnt mean that were all friends) I could only imagine if that question were followed by an expectation of service or freedom to assume I was going to a thing.
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