Whats the difference between a g spot and a golf ball? #32. 80.27 % / 1185 votes. Why doesnt Santa Claus have any children? Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? . Just another reason to moan, really. Dozer the biggest breasts Ive ever seen. Why?, Because, the doctor says. But young, is your spirit. 85. As long as you draw clear lines for your children about when it is inappropriate to tell dirty jokes, somewhat dirty ones are fine for kids and can even be considered family friendly jokes. Because his right hand caught on fire. Best golf jokes: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. Knock, knock. Whos there? I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. The best items for this prank are binoculars, periscopes and sound powered telephones. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. "Yes, I have, they went to A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. 50. 60. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? Two parrots are sitting on a perchThe first one says to the other, "Does something smell fishy?". How do you sink a polish battleship? Following is our collection of funny Seamen jokes.There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them. 49. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are. I see why they call you handsome. Why are hurricanes normally named after women? Get your fill of knock knock jokes, animal jokes and dad jokes! Heywood Jablowme. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up . Were in the same boat. 83. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? 37. 27. Is that a mirror in your pocket? The wheelchair. What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". You knew that already that, Cocaine.". He only comes once a year. Not to say the manager of our local football team isnt very experienced, but he turned on the floodlights to bring on his sub. All you dummies fall out. As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. When the submarine was built, they couldn't come up with a name for it. 34. A torpedo! Lobster?, I have some bad news. WARNING: Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead. #42. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. Know what a 6.9 is? One ejaculation represents a data transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops. What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Why did God give men penises? This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. 30. A $100 bill. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? Answer: Youre either on a roll or taking shit from someone. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. A man was sent to hell for his sins. There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Both of their bellies are full of seamen. 5. A. A submarine! Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Never have dirty jokes for her? 1. Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector. Oral sex makes your day. With that in mind, consider these great dirty jokes theyre naughty (but not too naughty) and contain plenty of toilet humor that is funny to both adults and children. Whos there? Knock, knock. Sometimes the best jokes are the dirty jokes. They can both smell it but cant eat it. 51. If a midget tells you your hair smells niceis that sexual harassment? @2023 - The Free Spirit Journal All Right Reserved. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? 67 What do you call two jalepeos getting it on? Chewing gum. 91. 45. Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. . HappyHaptics, YouTube. Whos there? Synopsis of Children of the Night - ProstStageProduction.com. Speaking in tongue. 19. Knock knock. After all, life is just one big dirty joke. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Ben Dover who? Her mom calmly said, That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair. the girl smiled. Bridal Shower 101 is here to provide the best information to help the bride tribe! Why are women like Popeyes? The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. Two fresh sailors were talking about assignments they would like to get. Know what old pussy tastes like? Even thoughts can raise them. #39. There are, actually quite a few benefits to enjoying some off-colour humour every now and then. A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs. A man went to the Navy and was stationed on a sub. You burn around 200 calories during 30 minutes of active sex. 69. Ive been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look? Dirty jokes . Kurt Tattoo. 20. You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit. He speaks with an officer, who assigns him a job and says "if you dont like your job, come talk to me, and i will give you a new one. Dewey have a condom ready? Boris Johnson, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are fishing on the North Sea coast . "Yo Mama's so . What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Sweet Charity Song, 18. 23. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. 0 shares. Amanda who? Play with the neighbors pussy instead. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. #1. Because I want to sea u lion in my bed later! We all know that dirty jokes are unsavory that will never be appropriate for any kind of gathering. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. No, I'm not 0vary acting. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? then my coworker started trying to open the window. 33. These Top 25 Dirty Jokes are pretty great and pretty dirty! What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? They go under the ship, make a hole and suck out all the seamen. Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "I saw a chap with a big bushy beard earlier.". asian. Dissolvable relationships. 20. Fresh Movie Trailer s, Navy Jokes. ", It makes the loads of seamen harder to see. Because they have a microphone and two speakers. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. And if we're missing any, send us yours. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. 79. Please add a link to this article. And don't forget to check our main jokes page for all the jokes you could ever handle! Heres a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY dirty JOKES: . 35. 240+ Best Kids Jokes for Some Wholesome Laughs. 32. Anita you right now! What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . Ben Dover. 60. Copyright 2022 IllustrationFriday.com All Rights Reserved. What are three words in the English language no one wants to say or hear? Whats the difference between me/you and a mosquito? The others agreatyear. Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? "I'm a panda," he says at the door. What did the penis say to the vagina? What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? What's long and hard and full of seamen? This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. 46. -. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Dress her up as an altar boy.. Question: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Waiter I get my hands on you. I never saw anybody drink that fast.". It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine. #35. There was no resume he couldnt perfect. 48. Knock, knock. They're built with sub-standard materials. Question: What do you call a person who doesnt masturbate? Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients as theyre leaving? Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy. Your email address will not be published. Nothing. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. #33. Telling dirty jokes can be a thin line. A: Slick her hair back she looks 15. Her nostrils. A penis has a sad life. Papa Boner. Why didnt the Toilet Paper cross the road? Knock, knock. You may have aged a bit. As part of his job, he had brought his own sewing kit and he asked to left alone while doing his work. Yes, it's a bit childish but hilarious when you've been cooped up for weeks on end. It feels great when you blow it and if youre not careful, it may drip. Were not mad, just disappointed. There's a bunch of Australian jokes that have been told more times than a kiwi's shagged a sheep, like, "Australians don't have sex, Australians mate," and "What is the difference between yoghurt and Australia? Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. One snatches your watch. A turkey. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! It chips their teeth. What stays moist when you tie up its legs? Whos there? Lie to me! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ac97acb5f895670bd4b0020b62661cb5" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. 43. 62. What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? What do you call someone who doesnt fart in public? Sep 4, 2020 - Explore Paritosh Singh's board "Submarine quotes" on Pinterest. A panda walks into a cafe. 35. black people. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, He replies, No. Hearing and telling dirty jokes is good for us, and the best jokes let us laugh at and talk about what might otherwise stay hidden. She wrote: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says itll take about an hour for him to check it. Good Hygiene. 47. A wet nose. Hearing and telling dirty jokes is good for us and probably good for your kids on some level. If the pun is the flagship of English humour, then innuendo is the seamen all over it. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. Lick-a-Lott-o-puss. I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out. They both irritate the shit out of you. Your throat. My mom thinks I`m gay, can you help me prove her wrong? As you can see, there are actually quite a few benefits to enjoying dirty jokes from time to time. The guy next to him replies, Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. "If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.". A genealogist looks up thefamily tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. Whos there? Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? After he is finally finished with it, he shows it to his friends, who start laughing. 16. Two fish swim into a wall One turns to the other and says, Dam!. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Please pray for. Many do! This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. Knock knock. #49. What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body? Why did the sperm cross the road? What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Question: What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Django Challenges Sartana, How do you turn a fox into an elephant? What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower? What do a woman and a bar have in common? Which is easier? Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. She said she didn't have time. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. A friend started a submarine building company. It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine. Gay jokes, meant to make you laugh out loud. Dozer who? Camel toe! Funny can be good: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? 14. Khan-dom broke. A Lickalotopus. Me!. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Ivan who? Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one? Why do vegetarians give good head? One of them crawls out to pee before bed. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? Answer: Someones always willing to blow your bonus. 2.8K. The captain asked the fisherman: "Have You seen any Russian submarines lately?" Nose Jokes. I hope youre on the pill! Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. A: A submarine. Why do women have orgasms? Truth be told, some of the best jokes are dirty jokes. He takes a step back, and looks proudly at his work. You may have become weaker. Ivana lay you. The Best Dirty Submarine Jokes 2022. 46. 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends. 81. Yes, even them. But I keep telling him we need to keep the thermostat at 72 degrees this winter. An old lady goes to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs. A liquor cabinet. What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? #58. #6. Harry Anus. Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? 13. Khan. He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Panda. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. There are some navy submarine depth charge jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Answer: Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself. Guys will actually search for a golf ball. A coconut. Torpedo Boredom With 20 Submarine Jokes & Puns! Answer: Ones a Goodyear. Whos there? 66. Oh, never mind, Im still working on that one. Once you open windows, the problems begin. 36. 50. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. It's his first day on the job and he's given instructions on which istrument does what and chart for morse code. 59. Submarine Humor . As of 2022, the gross gaming, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. So when they get to port they can Scandinavian. Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? Dirty jokes have been among us for ages but most of us are too shy to share the jokes that we have heard. The human taste for crude humor starts very early, which is true of good jokes for kids too. What do you call two lesbians in a closet? 65. A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The other watches your snatch. Three people joined, two of them were from the competition held the previous year. They always come in a little behind. What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? Kiss who? Your email address will not be published. Where to draw the line on dirty dad jokes depends on how many awkward conversations youre willing to have should your kid fire off a poop joke in Sunday school or during a test. The believed it would be funny to name the sub something mundane, so they began to refer to it simply as the "Word Sub". What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? 3. "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. He used paper and pencil to budget. Shakespeare Jokes & Puns . 8. Submarine Jokes. Dirty Joke 1. What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common? Glasses seem to fit higher on my face. What are 3 two letter words that mean small? Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! You now have the worst joke if it is one.you suck Reply More posts from r/DirtyJokes. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. I only go for subtitles. 79. 63. Orgasms can alleviate the pain of a migraine. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? Question: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? Knock, Knock! The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. Knock, knock. 5% of adults have sex once a day. Youre under a lot of pressure. He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. Fucking hot! Dirty Jokes are actually good for you. Ivana who? 39. How is sex like a game of bridge? The Hephaestus was one of the best submarines in the fleet and their Occupational Counselor was no exception. They're both wet when your in them and swallow lots of seamen. Question: What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? Please sign up with your best email address. I could drink her blood. TAGS: boat jokes pirates sailors. by leahsoboroff. Read full article. But mum says you are still nifty. Some want a good laugh and some want it with a little tickle. Whats another name for a vagina? "I've got a boyfriend at the moment. Question: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Al! 18. At least they drive slowly through school zones. One is full of meat, one full of Seamen, and another is full of reposts. Because one has two lips and one has two heads. Whats green and smells like pork? Heywood. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Whats the difference between a job and marriage? We've collected the best of submarine jokes and puns just for you. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 68. A private tutor. Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? Submarines are safer than airplanes. 12. Question: What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? 54. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. 96. 72. 46. What do a lesbian and a mechanic have in common? But men can fake a whole relationship. A: A submarine. Kiss me! Knock, knock. Here are some of the funniest, geekiest tech and computer jokes we could find. June 7, 2022; douglas county ga jail inmates mugshots . What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? Ice cream all night if youre lucky. There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 2. Answer: A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. The woman goes out at midnight and dances around her garden naked for a few minutes. #37. Shes gonnaeatme! Amanda who? Your girlfriend makes it hard. Im 6 tall, 200 lbs, and Im a marine. I used to go out with an Admirals daughter, it didn't last long as her naval base was always full of seamen. Whos there? The first one to laugh loses, and the person with the most points wins. "That bad, huh," his friend responded. One of the other men asks what's got into him.